Now that the ring is on your finger, it is time for you both to start planning the biggest celebration of your lives! It will certainly be a difficult journey at times but hopefully, if you are reading this, it’ll be more of an adventure than a nightmare.
1. Visualize your Dream Wedding.
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| Image from flickr.com |
Before you plunge into the madness of planning the wedding, take a minute to close your eyes and imagine exactly what you want your big day to look like. What are you wearing and who is surrounding you? How many people are there? Are you indoors or out? Is there a theme or a coordinated colour scheme? What do you see and what can you smell? Try to envision all five of your senses being engaged and get a real idea of what you and your fiancé are dreaming about. It helps to browse through magazines and websites to get lots of great ideas and if you can, keep a copy of the picture or idea in a folder which you can later show to your wedding planner or other vendors to help them understand exactly what you have in mind. If you are planning something really elaborate, it might be a good idea to get a wedding planner on board as early as possible so that he or she can help you pull together all of the elements and tasks for your dream wedding.
2. Plan your Guest List.
While you won’t need to pin down every single person’s attendance just yet, one of the first things to do is to work out an estimated number of guests that you and your parents wish to invite. From there, you’ll be able to figure out how large your wedding venue will need to be as well as what you budget will need to include.
3. Come up with a Budget.
This can be a prickly subject but it is important to discuss this early on in your planning process. It will save you from many heated arguments later on or worse, starting your marriage with a huge hole in your pocket. Your budget should include all of the major wedding expenses such as the hotel package costs, food and beverages, décor, photographers, bridal gowns and so on. Don’t forget to include the seemingly “minor” expenses as well, such as corsages, bridal car décor and ang pows, as these too will add up. If you are not sure about what to include or how much to allocate for each item, consult your wedding planner (who’ll be able to prepare a budget with you) or ask around for various quotations to get a gauge of what the market rates are.
Be practical about what you can and can’t afford. Decide for yourselves which are the one or two things that you want to splurge on and then try to save on everything else. A beautiful wedding doesn’t necessarily have to be an expensive one and there are hundreds of wedding websites offering tips and tricks to make the most of your wedding budget.
4. Pick a Venue.
Armed with your preferred dates, the estimated number of guests and how much you can afford, take some time to visit the various hotels or locations that you envision your dream wedding to be at. If you are going with a hotel, do compare the various packages each hotel offers and don’t be afraid to ask about whether you can opt out of certain items on the packages, for instance the use of the hotel’s invitation cards, and pay a lower cost. Also pay attention to the clauses in the contract about terminating the agreement or making changes to the number of guests and so on. Most contracts are drafted for the hotel’s benefit and if you are not sure about some of the terms and conditions, ask or get a lawyer friend or your wedding planner to review the contracts with you.
If you are choosing an outdoor venue, try to visit the location during the day time as well as night to get a feel of what it might be like on your wedding day. You’ll be able to get a sense of what the temperature will be like, how big a tent you will need if you are intending to get one, whether there are a lot of mosquitoes or other rodents and where the closest toilets are and what state they are in. Most critically, if you are choosing an open venue, make sure you have a suitable Plan B in case it rains!
5. Find the Perfect Dress.
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| Gown by Vera Wang |
Scout around for the best packages or get a designer to make a one-of-a-kind dress for you. When choosing your gown, keep in mind the venue and theme you’ve chosen so that your gown looks appropriate. Be sure to try on lots of different styles, even the ones that you think might not suit you, you may be pleasantly surprised at what actually looks great on you!
Don’t forget about the groom too! Make sure his suit is well fitted and that he has all the accessories he needs, from his cufflinks to his shoes. And don’t be afraid to stray away from the usual black suit; gray and navy are a great alternative for weddings.
Importantly, remember to bring along any photos you may have of gowns or suits you like as well as all the accessories, shoes and underwear that you intend to wear on your wedding day so that you can take those into account as you get fitted for your wedding day best.
6. Assemble Your Dream Team.
A) Wedding Planners
If you haven’t already done so and think you need/want help with planning your wedding, hire a wedding planner. A good planner will have a little black book filled with contacts for reliable wedding vendors and will be able to recommend to you vendors that suit your style and budget. Your planner will also help you to save lots of time from having to research each and every vendor yourself and will take over the task of liaising with all the various vendors to coordinate your wedding.
Like you should with every wedding vendor, be sure to do your research for a reputable planner. Look for one that has been in the business for a few years, has certification in wedding planning and is a member of an accredited body, such as the Association of Bridal Consultants. And don’t be dissuaded with the myth that a wedding planner will cost you half of your wedding budget. Most of them will charge a flat fee for their services and you’ll be amazed at how having someone else take care of the nitty gritty will really calm your nerves on your big day.
B) Photographers and Videographers
These are one of the most important people you’ll engage for your wedding so it is important you find someone that both you and your fiancé are comfortable with since they will be with you throughout your day. They will capture all of the special moments of your wedding for you to savour after the big day is over so take some time perusing portfolios and meeting with photographers until you find someone who’s style you love. Be sure to brief your photographer and videographer beforehand if there are particular shots that you must have so that they can try to work those in for you. If it is possible, see if you can meet with your photographer and videographer at your chosen wedding venue at around the same time of day as when you wedding would be so that you can discuss whether the natural lighting is sufficient or if there are any adjustments that need to be made to produce the best quality of photos or video footage.
C) Make-up artists and Hair Stylists
Every bride wants to look her very best on her wedding day and these two people will be instrumental in helping you look your very best! Try to do a trial run of your full hair and make up well before the wedding so that you’ll know how much time you’ll need to get ready on your actual day. Take note also that some artists will charge extra if they have to be at your house before a certain hour of the day.
The time before your wedding is not a good time to drastically change your skin care regimen or try something new. Instead, stick to your usual skin care products while taking extra special care of your skin and go for regular facials (but never less than one week to the wedding!) so as to ensure that the make up artist has the best canvas to work with.
D) Decor
While many people simply opt to go with whatever basic décor their chosen hotel provides, try to add your own touch to make the wedding uniquely yours. This could be as simple as colour coordinating your napkins with your invitation cards or adding your chosen colour to your floral bouquet. As mentioned earlier, try to engage all five senses when you are thinking of the decor for your wedding.
E) Emcees, DJs and Other Entertainment
Emcees are essential for any wedding as they help to guide the guests through the evening and also share with them about the couple. In this regard, people often pick their friends or relatives to be their emcees though increasingly, people are choosing to get a professional emcee, especially where the guests are mostly business partners or from diverse backgrounds. Before the big event, brief your emcee thoroughly about the program so that he knows what is going on and make sure he practices saying the names of the important people, such as the bride and groom’s parents. If you are worried that your emcee might prattle on or worse, forget what he needs to say, give him a script or a set of cue cards to remind him of his lines.
When it comes to entertainment, do think about who your expected guests are and what they might enjoy. While it is touching to have speeches about the couple, try to mix it up a little so that everyone can enjoy the entertainment and not feel left out by all of the inside jokes. Perhaps include a song item or a dance performance and the evening won’t seem as boring as every other wedding that your guests have attended.
7. Gather Your Bridal Party.
Naturally you’ll want your closest friends to be by your side on your big day but do think about who the best person for each role would be. For instance, your maid of honour is someone who will be your shadow on your wedding day. Her job is to hold your things, touch up your make up between photos, help you with your gown and so on. Pick someone who you know you can trust with these tasks and won’t get offended if you are stressed. If you are worried about offending anyone, try to give them another role in your wedding, for instance, ask them to give a speech or to organise the bachelorette party.
8. Plan Early.
Start planning your wedding as early as possible so that you are not stressed with tons to do just days before your wedding. Prepare your to do lists, guest seating arrangements, timelines and actual day schedules well in advance so that everyone knows what they need to do. If you are planning to include some DIY projects, prepare these early as well so that you can take your time with the details. Above all, avoid having to run around with too many errands the day before your wedding. You’ll be much more relaxed as you approach your big day and things are less likely to go wrong as you had time to prepare for most emergencies.
9. Make Sure to Spend Some “Non-Wedding” Time With Your Fiancé.
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| Image from fairmountphoto.com |
When you start planning your wedding, it is very easy to let it occupy all of your thoughts. It is very tempting to want to talk about it all of the time, especially to your partner. But beware that doing so can really add more stress on him and on yourself and can be overwhelming to think about all that you need to do. Instead, schedule some time to do some non-wedding things with your fiancé, like going to the movies or taking a walk to remind yourselves of all of the things you love about your partner. This will strengthen your relationship and make planning your wedding more enjoyable.
10. Be a Gracious Bride.
Finally, remember to thank everyone who has helped to make your wedding day special in every way. Take some time to get a gift or write hand-written thank you notes to your bridal party and loved ones to let them know how much you appreciate their thoughtfulness and well wishes for your upcoming nuptials. After the wedding, try to write a thank you note to all those who came or gave a gift to you. A little gesture of thanks will go a long way in people’s hearts and you’ll always be remembered as the bride who was beautiful on the inside and out.
Happy Planning!
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