What you’ll be told to think about…
ridesmaids
“A thing of beauty is a
joy forever. Here’s to these beautiful bridesmaids.”
~ Unknown
Now that you’re going to get married, who will accompany you
down the aisle? Choosing bridesmaids is definitely a conundrum for any
bride-to-be. Grooms don’t really have that problem, because he’ll probably have
a tight-knit bunch of friends who will gladly don a suit, and assume the
position without much fuss. In a perfect world, a girl would be able to choose
the perfect number of perfect individuals to be their perfect bridesmaids,
without the interference of family, friends, or risk upsetting someone just
because they “weren’t asked”.
This can be a touchy subject, because you know what, secretly every girl wishes she could be a
bridesmaid. I mean, what’s not to love? Weddings are joyous occasions, and it’s
always a great, natural high to be right in the thick of them. You can get your
hair, make-up and nails done (likely for free), be admired when walking down
the aisle, and maybe even get the chance to meet a couple of hot guys (because
hot guys always hang out at
weddings). Let’s face it, it’s the closest thing a girl can get to being a
bride without actually being one. So
naturally, when word about your awesome wedding gets out, you will be
practically be able to hear the quickened heartbeats of the single ladies, relations,
friends, and sometimes the middle-aged aunties with teenage daughters in your
midst, just waiting to be picked.
Bridesmaids of yore were traditionally unmarried young women
or small girls, and this has continued till today, with bridesmaids typically
being close friends, cousins or sisters. Amongst Singaporean Chinese, we have
the notion of the bride having “Jiemei”, literally meaning “sisters” (and by
corollary, the groom has “Xiongdi”, or “brothers”) who serve the similar role
of assisting the bride and executing a number of traditional Chinese customs
for the wedding. Similarly, Indian and Malay wedding traditions have the same
notion of a gaggle of girls being on-hand to assist the bride on her big day. However,
gone is the restriction that bridesmaids must be unmarried, and the modern
bride tends to have a whole lot more autonomy when it comes to picking her
wingwomen.
Bridesmaids, without a doubt, are integral to the success of
any wedding. They attend to the bride and keep her happy, while managing pretty
much everything, from holding bouquets and accoutrements, to even acting as an
impromptu stylist and make-up artist in the event of any emergency touch-ups
(tip: there’s no way you can hide a 10-colour blush palette anywhere in your
bridesmaids’ gowns – arrange for a private powder room if your stylist isn’t
hired to stay the whole day!), all the while looking as pretty as pictures and
as fresh as daisies. These individuals, if chosen correctly, will know the
wedding program like the backs of their hands, won’t trip down the aisle, and
play a great part in making everything go off without a hitch. Like good shoes,
these girls will work hard for you and towards making your special day a
success, without making you feel unsteady on your feet.
What you should really be thinking about…
ridesmaids
Ta-da! Yes, you read right! When it comes to choosing your
bridesmaids, the two words that should be foremost in your mind are:
Choose wisely.
Here are a list of 5 types of girls who won’t make good
bridesmaid material. Remember, for the lead-up to and duration of your wedding,
these girls will be an extension of you,
so you’ll need to rally up a bunch of dependable, trustworthy ladies who can
withstand the acid test. If any of these stereotypes ring true in your
potential line-up, you may wish to reconsider your options.
The Flirt
She’s fun, she’s spontaneous, and the life and soul of every
party – so far, so good, except that she’ll likely drop you like a hot potato once a
boy wanders into her crosshairs. Be wary of a girl like this, because though flirtatious
behaviour may not be fatal to bridesmaid-ly duties, you don’t want to be left
with no one to zip you into your dress just because Ms Flirt has gone MIA –
probably into a broom cupboard with the Best Man. As open-minded as society has
become, people will notice if your bridesmaids spend more time ogling the men
in the immediate vicinity than assisting you. Nevertheless, Ms Flirt is
essentially a good person, you’ll just need to give her the odd friendly
reminder that she should be there for you,
not to chock up more notches on her bedpost.
Suitable for: Social tasks, organising – anything that keeps
her around people, but be sure that she won’t rush off in pursuit of a male target.
The Wallflower
Ms Wallflower is the polar opposite of Ms Flirt – she’s shy,
retiring, possibly young to boot, and doesn’t know much other than to stand
there and look pretty. This is all well and good, but you sometimes need
someone who can hold their own in social settings (for that is what weddings
are), be bolshy enough to assert herself when banquet managers are unhelpful,
and have the initiative to usher people into the ballroom on time. If this is
what you require, you might have to reassign Ms Wallflower, because though the
meek will inherit the earth, they will not get you a one-up when you need
something done right here, right now.
Suitable for: Compiling lists, guest headcount, reception team
– jobs that aren't too taxing, and don’t require too much of a feisty
personality.
The Obligation
So she’s your mother’s cousin’s youngest daughter, and right
now relatives are putting on the pressure for you to choose her as a
bridesmaid, or she’s your brother’s girlfriend of six months, and if you don’t
make her a bridesmaid, you just know Miss
Obligation will be staring daggers at you as you walk down the aisle. DON’T
GIVE IN. No one has a birthright to being made a bridesmaid – these girls need
to be your nearest and dearest, so stand your ground, and don’t let anyone
force their way into your inner circle. In short, wedding photos are forever,
and you can’t scratch her face out of them if your aunt and mother fall out /
your brother dumps her in two months’ time. If you do decide to give Ms
Obligation a go, make sure that it is of your own free will, and not because
someone is holding you to ransom.
Suitable for: Any job, depending on the amount of involvement
you’d like her to have in your wedding.
The Flake
This girl is great.
Ms Flake is just like chocolate – sweet, sugary, and gives you a great feeling.
The only problem is, she’s unreliable.
This means she promises to do things, but doesn’t see them through, or bails on
you at the last moment. It doesn’t mean that she’s a bad person, no, but it
probably means that at some point you’ll have to step in and do things yourself
or have someone take over whatever Ms Flake has left behind. If you must have
this girl with you, though, you’ll have to be prepared that she might not see
things through, in which case you’ll have to make sure that you have someone on
hand who will.
Suitable for: Whatever task she’s good at – just make sure you
have a good understudy who can take the reins if things go awry.
The Dominatrix
Everyone knows someone like Ms Dominatrix. She loves action,
most of all being in the thick of it. Whenever a plan comes together, she wants
to be the one who executed it flawlessly. She has good networking skills,
doesn’t mince her words, and when she’s around, things get done. The only problem is, she can be intimidating, unfriendly and
a complete nightmare to work with. While we won’t judge you on why you have a
friend like this (we’re sure she must be nice in other ways), you might not
want her on the frontlines, purely because it’s unlikely that she’ll get along
with anyone else. The solution to this is simple – reassign her to a wedding
job that won’t involve stepping on people’s toes, or use her like a weapon of
mass destruction – sparingly, and as a last resort.
Suitable for: Pre-wedding research and planning, anything that calls for cut-throat ops.
Hope this helps you on your quest for a bridal party! Good
luck!
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